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- Five Finds of the Fortnight: Edition 2
Five Finds of the Fortnight: Edition 2
On grief and mourning
Dear reader,
When I first encountered the word mourning, listed as a need in the Nonviolent Communication list of universal human needs, I was quite surprised.I had not imagined mourning to be a need; or that it was so essential for our survival and wellbeing. And then it began to make sense: we mourn not just the people we lose, but also the loss of anything dear: material possessions, connections, lost dreams, lost hopes…This week I came across some interesting and thought-provoking resources on mourning that I would like to share with you. If this strikes a chord, leave a comment or reply to this email to share.
With warmth,
Ranjitha
1. The cost of unprocessed grief
What happens when we don’t process our grief? How is grieving different from wallowing? And how do we grieve? Read this article by Alan Seid in PuddleDancer Press’ latest newsletter here.
2. I’m so sorry for your loss…
3. But what does mourning look like?
We often hear statements similar to the ones in the comic above, when we or someone else we know experience a significant loss. While these statements may be well-intentioned, they end up discounting or shutting down the emotions of the person who’s grieving. We may also direct these statements towards ourselves, because we’re uncomfortable with our emotions, or don’t know how to mourn.
In this article, Sarah Peyton shares a process that you can use (with the support of someone you trust) to allow yourself to mourn.
4. Mourning our mistakes
“When we make mistakes, we can use the process of NVC mourning and self-forgiveness to show us where we can grow instead of getting caught up in moralistic self-judgments.”
~ Marshall B. Rosenberg
Bonus link: What’s mourning got to do with self-compassion?
Mourning our mistakes can help us ease into accepting what we have done (even when we think it’s wrong, even when we don’t like what we said or did) and regard ourselves with understanding and compassion. Research shows that self-compassion can also trigger us to adopt a growth mindset, something that can be hugely supportive in both our professional and personal lives.
5. Upcoming event alert
If you’re interested in knowing more about Nonviolent Communication and social change, here’s a workshop for you. “Starting Imperfectly: NVC and Social Change” by CNVC-certified trainer Manasi Saxena is happening tomorrow. Click on the post for more info.
