- Five Finds of the Fortnight
- Posts
- Five finds of the fortnight: Edition 3
Five finds of the fortnight: Edition 3
On empathy
Dear reader,
Welcome to the third edition of Five Finds of the Fortnight. A warm hello to all those who have signed up in the past week!
This week’s newsletter focuses on empathy: one of the fundamental skills we learn in Nonviolent Communication. Empathy really is about being present to someone else; emptying ourselves (or setting aside, for the moment) what we think, believe or feel, and making space for the other person to share what’s going on in them.
This fortnight’s roundup has a list of resources on empathy that I hope will help you explore different aspects of this topic.
If you enjoy what you’re reading, have feedback on the newsletter, or if you have suggestions for topics you’d like to read in future editions—reply to this email or leave a comment to let me know.
Until next fortnight,
Ranjitha
1. Marshall Rosenberg on empathy
Have you ever been surfing? Imagine you’re on your surfboard now, waiting for the big one to come. Get ready to get carried with that energy. Now, here it comes. Are you with that energy right now? That’s empathy. No words – just being with that energy.
When I connect with what’s alive in another person, I have feelings similar to when I’m surfing. To do this, you can bring in nothing from the past. So the more psychology you’ve studied, the harder it will be to empathize. The more you know the person, the harder it will be to empathize. Diagnoses and past experiences can instantly knock you off the board.
This doesn’t mean denying the past. Past experiences can stimulate what’s alive in this moment. But are you present to what was alive then or what the person is feeling and needing in this moment?
If you think ahead to what to say next – like how to fix it or make the person feel better – BOOM! Off the board. You’re into the future. Empathy requires staying with the energy that’s here right now. Not using any technique. Just being present. When I have really connected to this energy, it’s like I wasn’t there. I call this “watching the magic show.” In this presence, a very precious energy works through us that can heal anything, and this relieves me from my “fix-it” tendencies.
~ Marshall Rosenberg
2. Should I say…
3. Improv and empathy: what’s the connection?
What can improv (short for improvisation, a form of spontaneous ensemble theatre) teach us about empathy? Staying open and welcoming the other person’s point of view—both of which can determine how well an improv act goes, are essential to empathy too. Watch this TEDx talk by Scott Pierce for more.
4. How can I be more empathetic?
Beyond our workshops and practice groups, how do we build our empathy muscle? How do we get used to stepping into the other’s shoes, seeing other perspectives? This comprehensive article in the New York Times compiles a bunch of suggestions on this.
5. Upcoming event alert
The 2021 edition of the Compassion Course, run by the NY Center for Nonviolent Communication and led by CNVC-Certified Trainer Thom Bond, begins this June. Registrations for the course begins on March 1. the course runs over 52 weeks, and features a combination of email messages, webinars and other resources.
Read more about The Compassion Course here. The page also gives you an option to sign up for registration updates.