"We've always done things this way"
🤷🏾 How this thinking leads us to deny responsibility for our actions
I’m sending you this fortnight’s edition of the newsletter early because I’m off the Hyderabad for a series of workshops, and the next few days are likely to be packed. I’ll share more about these workshops in the next edition.
If you’re in Hyderabad and would like to say hello in person, reply to this email to let me know!
For now, here are some resources I’d like to share with you this fortnight.
📚 The heart of Nonviolent Communication
Sometime ago, Stephanie Bachman-Mattei invited me to contribute to the book “The Heart of Nonviolent Communication” with a personal story about how one of the Key Differentiations of NVC played out in my life.The book is out now, and I’d recommend it to any NVC practitioners who want to understand the consciousness of NVC. Each chapter is devoted to a differentiation, explains the concept with input and a personal story, and has practice exercises. It’s comprehensive, and I see myself reading this book chapter by chapter over the next few months to make the most of it.
I’m pleased to be in the company of friends and colleagues who’ve also made contributions to the book.
📹 What I’m working on: NVC 365
Starting June 1, I will be sharing one video a day on a topic related to understanding and practicing NVC, empathy and self-awareness.
In 60 seconds or less, I’ll bring you short and impactful insights and tips on the practice.
I’ll be sharing these on my Youtube Channel.
Click on the link below to follow and be notified when my new videos go up—I’ll share the first one soon!
🗨️ Quote of the fortnight
⚠️ Why “We’ve always done things this way” is dangerous
And it’s not just about business: when we do things because they’ve always been done this way, because we ‘have to’ or ‘should’, we don’t take responsibility for our actions.
Marshall called ‘have to’ thinking denial of responsibility, one of the 4Ds of Disconnection.
Denying responsibility disconnects us from responding to our own needs, and being aware of the needs of others.
This short excerpt from Marshall Rosenberg’s book shares how dangerous it can potentially be when we deny responsibility for our actions.
From the book “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life” by Marshall Rosenberg. Quote courtesy PuddleDancer Press.
Watch: There’s no such thing as a “have-to“ (<90 sec)
Also read: A 2-minute exercise on transforming ‘have-to’s.
💡Changing how we see our anger
💡 Social media post of the fortnight
Would you like to join an NVC practice group?
Some of you may be aware that I’ve been leading the Bangalore practice group for a bit more than four years now. We first met in-person and moved to online meetings after COVID.
Now I’m restarting this practice group with a new theme: starting with the basics to study Marshall Rosenberg’s book “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life.”The practice group will meet fortnightly and on weekday evenings (IST).
The sessions are for newcomers and advanced practitioners alike—with conceptual learning, practice and takeaways for anyone who wants to build their NVC practice.
I’ll share more information on this in the next edition.With warm regards,
PS. Have a topic or questions that you’d like to see covered in upcoming editions of this newsletter? Reply to this email and I’ll answer them for you in my next edition!